The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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