i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
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i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
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i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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