ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize