come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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