is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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