My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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