You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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