She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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