First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize