Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize