Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Say something about gay babies.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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