Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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