So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
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I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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