I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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