I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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