ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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