i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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