i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize