Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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