The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
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I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
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The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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