fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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