508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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