i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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