Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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