my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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