so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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