Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize