now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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