Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.

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(480): I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is. http://tfl.nu/0bg6

Replies (13) Good night (2137) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
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(240): View more from Maryland

were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?

(301): View more from Maryland

yes! wait why?

(240): View more from Maryland

because i found it in my pocket this morning...

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(240): were you wearing a green and blue thong last night? (301): yes! wait why? (240): because i found it in my pocket this morning... http://tfl.nu/rs9c

Replies (39) Good night (11221) Bad night (690)
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(210): View more from Texas

I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.

(512): View more from Texas

There are margaritas in the freezer still.

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(210): I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life. (512): There are margaritas in the freezer still. http://tfl.nu/0xfi

Replies (16) Good night (5295) Bad night (792)
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(516): View more from New York

I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this

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(516): I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this http://tfl.nu/xbb7

Replies (21) Good night (899) Bad night (4185) Order T-Shirt
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(313): View more from Michigan

So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.

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(313): So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college. http://tfl.nu/hsa9

Replies (4) Good night (3055) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt
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(954): View more from Florida

I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.

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(954): I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals. http://tfl.nu/1tkg

Replies (16) Good night (990) Bad night (4488) Order T-Shirt
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(250): View more from British Columbia

He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.

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(250): He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS. http://tfl.nu/xkr3

Replies (5) Good night (931) Bad night (2402) Order T-Shirt
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.

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(580): Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me. http://tfl.nu/8lxk

Replies (10) Good night (2229) Bad night (1100) Order T-Shirt
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier

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(918): Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier http://tfl.nu/54o9

Replies (5) Good night (2372) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
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(614): View more from Ohio

God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.

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(614): God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend. http://tfl.nu/1ak5

Replies (9) Good night (1560) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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(513): View more from Ohio

I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.

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(513): I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting. http://tfl.nu/f03u

Replies (3) Good night (954) Bad night (602)
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(914): View more from New York

I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.

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(914): I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol. http://tfl.nu/zw06

Replies (11) Good night (2029) Bad night (461) Order T-Shirt
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.

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(843): Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck. http://tfl.nu/fj8t

Replies (29) Good night (775) Bad night (1864) Order T-Shirt
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.

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(270): Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. http://tfl.nu/l82s

Replies (4) Good night (953) Bad night (312) Order T-Shirt
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(828): View more from North Carolina

does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?

(828): View more from North Carolina

if not i want to bang those glasses off his face

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(828): does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you? (828): if not i want to bang those glasses off his face http://tfl.nu/l0mr

Replies (4) Good night (1181) Bad night (213)

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