I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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