I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
FUCK WHALES
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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