You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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