it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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