he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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