I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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