So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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