what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
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False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
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I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
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I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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