new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Couch. On fire.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize