I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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