U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize