You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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