can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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