I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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