I'm going to jail i love you
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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