why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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