im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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