Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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