Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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