It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize