i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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