GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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